It strikes me that there is actually quite a vast mythology surrounding anti-depressants. I am constantly seeing reports about their over-use in magazines, newspapers, the television and hearing reports on the radio (okay, so I was brought up listening to radio 4 and am now middle aged before my time...) but I wanted to talk about it from the point of view of done one who does actually take the magical 'happy pills'.
What's super-important for me to point out is that I once, too, was an anti-d (sound a like a one direction hate club, but no) and for the vast part of my early journey into anorexia, I refused to have any form of medication. Although I managed to survive without it, upon reflection my behaviour patterns at the time were pretty extreme.
What's hard to grasp about depression is actually accepting that you have it in the first place. Ignorant at my self-destructive thoughts and frankly weird behaviour, I refused to accept that there was anything wrong with me other than being 'grumpy' as every other person experiences. So much so, that even when my self harming was discovered I still point blank denied that anything was wrong.
It took quite a lot to get me to finally give pill-popping a go. I was heading down a rocky path of sleeping all day and night, self harming, not talking to anybody for months on end and engaging in an extremely invariable eating pattern towards the end of my admission to a psychiatric ward, and was presented with the ultimatum of drugs or re-admittance as an inpatient- and, of course, that would probably have resulted in the former, so I chose that to begin with. I can tell you now of my vast scepticism over the benefits of my new tablets, packaged up neatly and laid out before me on the breakfast table the next morning. But over the following weeks, as my mood lifted, I began to rationalise and become able to think clearly for the first time in over three years, my opinion u-turned.
I am now a great advocate of anti-depressants. Should they be given out willy-nilly? Perhaps not. But be they as much a part of my life and daily routine as brushing my teeth. Just as insulin helps diabetes sufferers, anti-depressants merely slightly alter brain chemistry, allowing mentally ill patients to carry on with their daily lives just like any other drug.
So, before you shun or condemn anti-depressants, bear in mind their significance and the wonders that they work- I am amazed every day, although nowadays it's usually through my pill packet telling me the day of the week.
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